I Hired My Dog. The Results Were Wild.

Let's be honest: working from home has made us all a little strange. I talk to my houseplants, encourage my coffee mug, and have recently employed my dog and cat. No, they aren't getting spreadsheets or taking client calls. But, after a particularly stressful week, I realised my cats were always "working" offering cuddles, chasing shadows, and standing guard at the front entrance. So I made it official. I gave my pets legitimate job titles based on their daily behaviour. What began as a joke evolved into one of the most unexpectedly entertaining activities I've ever undertaken.

You can’t just assign any role to any pet. Like any manager worth their kibble, I held (imaginary) interviews. My cat, Luna, displayed all the qualities of a dramatic but emotionally supportive co-worker—aloof yet attentive, vocal when ignored, and prone to midday naps. She was a clear pick for Emotional Support Intern. Meanwhile, my dog, Cooper, was all action. He monitored every window, barked at leaves blowing across the yard, and followed me everywhere like an overzealous assistant. His résumé practically screamed Doorbell Security Officer. Matching jobs to their personalities wasn’t just funny—it highlighted just how unique and expressive pets really are.
Once the roles were set, I drafted “official” descriptions for their new positions. Here are a few highlights from our furry team roster:
Each pet embraced their role in their own way, and their commitment was impressive—mostly.
What started as a joke turned out to be surprisingly meaningful. Giving my pets roles helped me see their everyday habits with fresh eyes. It also made me laugh a lot. During tough or lonely days, it gave me something to look forward to. Luna’s performance reviews. Cooper’s overenthusiastic morning meetings (read: barking at the birds). These silly roles turned our daily routines into something fun and lighthearted. Even better? I felt more connected to them. By paying closer attention to their quirks, I bonded with them in new ways.
Observe their quirks: Do they nap all day or follow you like a shadow?Name the habit: “Zoom Stalker” or “Snack Scheduler” are totally valid.Make it official: Write it down, tell your friends, or create a fake employee badge (yes, I did).Keep it fun: This is all about bonding, not behavior correction.You’ll be surprised how quickly these names stick—and how perfectly they describe your pet’s role in your life.

At the end of the day, our pets already have jobs. They cheer us up, entertain us, guard us from squirrels, and make sure our homes are never quiet. Assigning them titles is just our way of saying, “Hey you matter.” So go ahead, give your pet a job. Make them Vice President of Vibes or Chief Barking Officer. They won’t know what it means—but you will. And that’s the magic of it.

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Can pets really have jobs?
Yes, especially fun or symbolic roles based on their behavior.What’s a popular funny job title for dogs?
“Couch Supervisor” and “Treat Consultant” are top picks.Can this help with pet bonding?
Absolutely—it’s a fun way to connect with your pet’s unique personality.